While I was in the ICU for the 3 days and nights, I kept falling asleep and waking up.
I wanted to wake up for answers, of what happened, things were happening around me, but I did not have answers to why. I wanted to stay awake longer so that I could get some answers from the nurses and doctors, but I kept falling asleep. I realised only after I was discharged from the hospital, after having time to reflect and get answers from my meditation. There was a reason why I was slipping in and out of consciousness, as in keep falling asleep.
I was gripped with fear that I would die, but the curiosity was why I was waking up, but something else was happening; I was subjected to ‘practicing’ slipping in and out of consciousness. This actually allows me to have less and less fear of dying; fear was dying every time I woke up. I must have fallen asleep more than 10 times a day, and I had to wake up more than I fell asleep. Lots of practice, so that the ‘darkness’ that came to engulf me was just another sleep like another day, there was nothing to fear from the darkness.
During the moments of darkness, I actually learned a few lessons for living my life. Though when I was in the ICU, I could only make out the image of “FFFF”, I finally decoded it after I left the hospital. Other than that, I could not really make anything out of it until I was at home and I had enough uninterrupted sleep time to unfold the lessons I got, like when I was being taught, when I was asleep, or while being too busy chasing money.
The first message was the FFFF, they stand for “Find” what is most important that I want to achieve from the list of most important. The other F was “Focus” on that most important, the other F was “Filter” out anything else that does not bring me closer to the Focus point, the last F was “Flow” towards the Focus point that I started off with.
Will get to the second message from the ‘darkness’ that engulfed me tomorrow.