I hear many people separating after decades of relationships together. Why?
Discounting the affairs, why do they stay together for decades and then decide to leave each other? Many stay together because of the kids, but when the kids finish their studies, they separate. Why do they really separate?
We get into relationships for different reasons, often, we hear the reasons for being in a relationship are:
- LOVE;
- HAPPINESS when together;
- LAUGHTER;
All these are good reasons, while others get into relationships because of their parents. When they got married, the parents were at it again. When will they get to carry their grandchildren? It is like when they have children, they will be committed to each other for the rest of their lives. Many do, until they graduate, then the parents leave each other.
This is the thing, emotions or feelings fade! Every tried to catch water in your hands? Or catch clouds with your hands? When I was young, going up to Genting Highlands, the windows would wind down on the car, hands out the window, catching the clouds! It does not work. Well, emotions, feelings are the same thing; they fade, you cannot hold them, you cannot contain them, the feelings fade!
If we go into the relationship because of the feelings, the love, the happiness, laughter, feelings, it will not last, because you were having the positive emotions, you have not had the negative emotions that hit you one after the other after you are married. Life journey will have the positive and negatives, on the journey, there will be good and bad. If we go into a relationship because of the feelings factor, it does not last!
If we want a lasting relationship, we want to go into it for REASONS, very important reasons that is NOT emotions, feelings-based.
The VERY IMPORTANT REASON that will withstand the negative days, because you are holding onto the reason, your emotions will not matter. We hold onto the REASONS, we will let go of the negative emotions, the reason is how we stay focused to be together. The reason is beyond feelings, emotions; it is the cornerstone of your relationship.
Yes, there are some who will transcend the love feelings, but most do not.
There are also those who feel drained to be in long-term relationships, because one drains the other vibration-wise, that vibration matching is not there.
If you want to have long-term relationships that last, you need:
- REASON-BASED relationship;
- VERY IMPORTANT REASON to be in the relationship;
- NOT EMOTION, FEELING-based
REASON is not fleeting; it becomes your logic, belief, and it lasts longer than fleeting emotions! The FEELINGS you get is a BIG BONUS of the reason to be in a relationship!
If you, if it is emotion/feeling-based, they can become addicted to the feeling, and if they are not getting it from the partner, they will look for another partner to intensify the feeling in a relationship. That’s where you have the affairs that lead to separations.
Be wise about your partnership, it is LONG TERM, it cannot be feeling based when you get into it, it will NOT last!.